I hate them!!!
I wish I would not or could not feel.
The truth is our Heavenly Father created us with emotions. Without emotions, we would not have relationships. Emotions are important in order to have relationship because, again, Father created us for them. Relationships are eternal. They will last for eternity.     
One of the problems is that we are born into a sin-cursed world; hence, we will experience painful emotions such as rejection, betrayal (someone whom we trusted with the deep secrets of our heart goes and tells someone else; also known as gossip), denial, despised, disrespected, forsaken, loneliness, abandonment and the list goes on.
It’s okay if we feel painful emotions. It doesn’t mean that we are bad Christians and not Spirit-filled, or that Father will cut us off, or worse yet, send us to hell. NO! NO! In fact Jesus experienced all the painful negative emotions listed above. He can identify with all our pain. We cannot help if emotional pain comes our way.
It doesn’t help to say, “Father, forgive me for feeling rejected.” because we do not choose our pain. We choose our sin, but not our pain. The reality is that all emotional pain resides in our heart. When pain hits our heart, the tendency is that our heart shuts down and we flip into our heads also known at the intellect. However, relationship does not happen in the head/intellect but in the heart. Therefore, it is important to resolve the pain in our hearts, so we can have relationship.
You may have heard the statement: “Don’t feel, just do!” This lie forces us to live out of the head/intellect and we kick in performance mode. The problem with performance mode is that we will become exhausted, dry, frustrated, empty (thoughts like: “something is missing” or “there’s got to be more to life than this”, etc.), lonely, isolated, etc. Why? Because Father did not create us to live out of the head/intellect, but to live out of the heart
There are many verses in which the Bible speaks about the heart. Examples such as: “Guard your heart with all diligence”, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart”, “Where your treasure (values) are, there will your heart be also.” Therefore, it is important to resolve the pain in our hearts so that it will be open to receive love and give it away, which is how Father designed us.
When our hearts are shut down from pain, it is similar to water when it hits a rock. It ricochets off. But if our hearts are healed and open, it becomes like a sponge that can receive water and can be useful to clean and brighten up other things. There is also another problem that happens when pain hits the heart, and that is the enemy – Satan, father of lies – attaches a lie to our pain. We begin to believe these lies which results in anger, criticism, walking away from painful situations, emotionally shutting down, depression, alcohol, drugs, moral failure, and the list of destructive patterns goes on.
Perhaps you are connecting with what was just explained. If you feel hopeless, there is hope for you.
The enemy wants us to live in our emotional pain and lies, but Father, whom I also like to call Abba, has made a way for us to walk in the ABUNDANT LIFE that He has promised to us. Instead of expressing (blowing up), or suppressing (stuffing) your pain, why not try to confess your pain to Jesus?
In Isaiah 53:4, Abba tells us that He has “borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.” Grief and sorrow represents our emotional pain. The word “borne” in the Hebrew language means “to transport.”   Hallelujah! The cross is not only for our sin, but also for the pain we experience. Abba wants to carry our pain for us. May I encourage you to take your pain to Jesus through the Holy Spirit? Jesus said in John 14:16 that He will send the Holy Spirit – a Comforter. When we are in pain, it is then that we want a comforter.
What would happen if we began to accept the pain – rejection, loneliness, fear, or whatever pain it is and tell Jesus about it? For example, “Jesus, when I am in pain, what does that do to Your heart? (NOTE: When you ask Jesus or the Holy Spirit a question, it is good to wait in silence and listen for His prompting.) Do You cry when I am crying in pain? Jesus, when did I first begin to feel this pain? Were You there when I first felt ____________ (fill in the pain word). Jesus, can I crawl up into Your lap and feel Your embrace? What lies do I believe as a result of this pain? Is it true that I am worthless? Is it true that nobody cares about me? Holy Spirit, what truth do you want me to know and believe in place of the lies?
Praying you will receive healing, encouragement, and release from connecting with Jesus. May the peace of Jesus permeate your heart? Until next time… Shalom!


Founder of Door of Hope North Carolina

Ray Weaver · Counselor PA Office

Ray serves as counselor at the Door of Hope office in Ephrata, PA. He graduated from Rosedale Bible College in 1988 and Lancaster Bible College in 1995. Ray and his family have also served as missionaries in Ghana, West Africa for five years (2004-2009) where he was director of Crusades for Christ International and Administrator at Crusades for Christ Bible Institute.

As a counselor, he finds it a privilege and a joy to be the hands and feet of Jesus in a tangible way as he observes the Healer transform marriages and minister healing to hurt people. Ray’s wife, Marilyn, passed away in February 2017, from a brain tumor. They have five sons. His oldest son was married in October 2016. Ray lives with his other four sons in Reading, PA.

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